Tis the season! Unfortunately, there are no Christmas songs about making memories with your former spouse or creating a new family tradition for newly separated parents. However, as a newly separated or divorced parent, you can still manage to have a great holiday season if you can put your “poor me, I’m divorced” mentality aside and focus on the followings:
1. Put your children first. This is not the time to bicker to your children about how the other parent did not get them any gifts. Neither is this the time to bring your new significant other to your Christmas dinner. This is the time to set aside your differences, anger and resentment and work with your former spouse on a holiday schedule that will allow the children to be with you both. Some parents can be in the same room as the other during the holidays. If the thought of being within 10 feet of your former spouse makes your feel sick, think about coordinating the days with him or her to maximize the experience for you children. Will the children be with the other parent for Christmas Eve, or Christmas Day, or both? Who will provide the transportation? Will the grandparents or relatives get the see the children during the holidays? Early planning of a workable holiday schedule will make things so much easier when you have a hundred of other items to do.
2. Do not bring your new boyfriend/girlfriend to Christmas dinner. This point is raised above but is worth repeating. If your children have yet to establish a relationship with your new significant other before the holidays, this is not the time to introduce them. Your children will not embrace your new girlfriend/boyfriend just because they are introduced during the holidays. Notwithstanding your dreams of sharing eggnog latte and mistletoe kisses with your new significant other, your children may not feel the same way.
3. Avoid litigation after Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day. Perhaps you cannot avoid scheduling the other party’s deposition or a court hearing during the holiday season, but perhaps you can. It is generally not recommended to go to court during the holiday season because it will only raise the other party’s disdain and anger toward you. Putting your divorce battle on hold during the holidays not only reduce the tension between you and your former spouse but perhaps it will give you peace so that you can focus on more important things– like getting the coveted Xbox for your son. However, if the other party insists on taking you to court during the holidays, gently remind them that realistically, nothing can be accomplished until the Court resumes business on January 2nd.
Disclaimer:Regal Law Office, APC and their attorney do not assume any responsibility for the accuracy or timeliness of any information provided herein. The information contained herein is for informational purposes only and is not legal advice or a substitute for legal counsel. Online readers should not act upon this information without seeking professional help specific to their case.